pain as sacrament

erotic gore art and poems for trans fags

spinning swords with a red jem in the center
adults only in red blocky text, spinning

itgirlratdyke black and red blinkie
About Me
genderfreak dykefag itgirl it/its she/her

Thanks to Nathalie Lawhead for the Electric Zine Maker, I wouldn't be able to make so many of my zines without it.

Things I'm Reading Right Now

Tip of the Spear: Black Radicalism, Prison Repression, and the Long Attica Revolt, Orisanmi Burton

Chobits, CLAMP

Berserk, Kentaro Miura

Leash, Jane Delynn

Serious Weakness, Porpentine Charity Heartscape

Cunt Towards Enemy, Porpentine Charity Heartscape

What Happens Next, Max Graves

Imperialism: The highest stage of capitalism, Vladamir Lenin
This is for a reading group, it's very precient tbh especially about the role of financial capital. Lenin is also a hater and some parts are funny to read. I'm just a slut for bitchy theoretical debate.

Lavender and Red: Liberation and Solidarity in the Gay and Lesbian Left, Emily K Hobson
A very well done history book on the various left and revolutionary queer movements of the 60's and 70's. These groups were often focused (or lacked focus) on amerikan imperialism, and Hobson spends time on solidarity movements with Nicaragua and other South American countries. The quoted passages and images are so amazing to read, this is a side of history we have been deprived of. Hobson does an excellent job of conveying the contradictions within and between groups, such as the deficient racial politics of white lesbians, as well as the state response.

Everyone on the Moon is Essential Personel, Julian K. Jarboe
Excellent book of short stories and the titular novella that I keep returning to because they are quick and emotive. Soul-devouring. Funny. Has influenced my magical practice (see pages/phrases in Grimoire) and my understanding of my self. I love the Cretian lizard woman, the capitalistic dystopian settings that I often also try to capture in my writing, the Kafka metamorphosis taken literally, euphorically, the bodily alienation and genderfuckiness that doesn't scream categorical identity or certainty in your face but instead gender in practice, metaphor, and bearing.

Sour Milk, Natali Tautou
Good fucked up short stories. Sexy murder. Not sexy murder. I love "Downward is Heavanward," a Kurt and Courtney/t4t groundhog day tale with very sexy murder. Her method of writing is really interesting, stick around to the end to find out. I am so envious of her dialogue. "Dirty Mind" is so sexy. "Last Splash" is so messy and wonderful. "My Baby, the Hand Gernade" hits me so hard, that feeling of ruining everything you touch. Can't reccomend enough.

README.txt, Chelsea Manning
Eye-opening memoir. I'm too young to remember 9/11 and the invasion of Iraq and Afghanistan and she fills in a lot of the personal gaps and cultural events that continue to today. It diverges (in a very good way) from the fairly derivative genre of trans memoirs (publishers want a certain sellable formula) with the geopolitical context and details of military life. Got to see her speak on the book, that was cool, she's very short which was neat and had well polished boots. When I asked, she encouraged hormone soverignty and trans self defense. Need to read her newer short story.

The Leather Daddy and the Femme, Carol Queen
If you want some great leather erotica that doesn't fit within rigid boundaries or categories that plague a lot of literature and old school S/M traditions (dom/sub, top/bottom, man/woman) read this book. Characters play with these roles in such an arousing and enjoyable way. Apparently there are two versions, one with more genderfucky bits that was published more recently. That's the one I'm reading and holy shit it hits. Will inspire many scenes, zines, and videos. Heads up: there is some quite literal dogfucking which like shocked me then but now comes across as somewhat tame after reading Leash by Jane Delynn

I got this through Wiggly Bird Mailing Club and it might be a different version now. But the lizard women made me cry it's so sweet and in contrast to the sheer brutality of the ranch and Heyena-man (may he never cum and never die). The descriptions of the ostriches/OHMstrich get me going the same way a Cronenberg movie does. Go support Persephone she's great.

light blue pentagram spinning in a dark blue circle Rotating pink heart blinkies!!! Rotating pink heart light blue pentagram spinning in a dark blue circle
I love gardening Burn it all down! Frog Friend Cyberhottie Proud Dollmaker! Enchantress Evil Bitch Goats make great friends! Gotcha! [frog eats fly] I Bite I love iguanas I love my girls Cyberhottie Life's a bitch I love mutts My kid slithers Pirate Club You say 'rats' like it's a bad thing She who must be obeyed Snake lover Spellbound I love spiders I love subs
Check out my hot pics! I love violence! dead 24/7 i support cannibalism best viewed with an open mind sluts are human too pee is stored in the balls kinky fucker i smile a lot when i have a gun to my head yikes (dripping red glitter) piss i popped a blood vessel I leave bite marks

Skeleton relaxing in hammock Skeleton punching air Skeleton relaxing in hammock